A Ghanan Branch Manager

Mr. Lawrence N. Norty, a branch manager for Barclay's bank in Ghana, is "expecting my response" to this latest offer of a 30% commission:

Greetings,
My name is Mr Lawrence N.Nortey, the regional manager of Barclays bank of Ghana takoradi branch in the western region of Ghana. I write you this proposal in good faith; I am married with two lovely kids. I have packaged a financial transaction that will be of benefit to us.

As the regional manager of the bank it is my duty to send in financial report to my head office in the capital city Accra at the end of each business year. On the course of the last year 2005 business report, I discovered that my branch in which I am the manager made Six million two hundred and fifty thousand united state dollars
($6,250,000.00) which my head office is not aware of and will never be aware of.

I have placed this funds on what we call escrow call account with no beneficiary. As an officer of this bank I cannot be directly connected to this money, so my aim of contacting you is to assist me receive this money in your bank account and get 30% of the total funds as commission.

There are practically no risks involved, the transaction will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law, it will be simply a bank-to-bank transfer, and all I need from you is to stand claim as the original depositor of these funds who made the deposit with my branch so that my head office can order the transfer to your designated bank account under few
working days.

If you accept to work with me I will appreciate it very much as you are the first and the only person I am contacting for this transaction. At this juncture, I wish to tell you what prompted me to package this deal. I have a 9-year old daughter who has leukemia, a disease of the blood, and she needs a bone marrow transplant or she
will die. I want this transplanting to be done in any good childrens hospital in your country if there is one.

Once this fund is transferred into your account, I shall resign from my job and bring my family to start a new life in your country. I would be grateful if you would help me invest my own part of the money in a very profitable business. I
have worked for this bank for the past 15 years yet I have nothing to show for it, I really need your assistance to secure this funds as soon as possible.

You can send me an email as soon as you receive this message if you can assist me so that we can go over the details.

Truly yours,
Mr Lawrence N.Nortey.

This is so sad. He just wants to save his daughter's life by getting her leukemia treated and start a new life in this country. I don't think Michael Savage (ney, Weiner) would like him doing that (the "start a new life" part I mean...or, hell, any part of that. The daughter be damned, he might say, "she's just a drunken slut stripping whore").

But at least he's not a Mexican, Muslim or gay. At least...not that we know of.

The Philippine First Lady

No, not Imelda Marcos, sadly. Luisa Estrada, wife of deposed President Joseph Estrada (impeached in 2001), and current Philippine Senator! She needs my help and came across my address through "internet browsing." She writes:

My Dear Friend

I got your contact address through internet browsing in my search for a reliable and trustworthy person who will assist me in a business investment venture in your country I am Mrs Luisa Loi Ejercito Estrada the wife of MR.JOSEPH ESTRADA the former president of the Philippines located in Southeast Asia.

My husband was impeached from office by a backed uprising of mass demostrators and the senate. The present government is forcing my husband out of Manila to avoid demonstration by his supporters. During my husband regime as president of Philippines i realised millions of dollars from various contracts projects I executed successfully. I had plans to invest this money for my children's future on real estate and industrial production. My husband is not aware of this because I wish to do it secretly for now.

Before my husband was impeached from office I concretely and secretly deposited this money and declared it as solid Gold bar with a security company that transports valuable goods and consignments through a diplomatic courier service to their adhoc offices. The consignment or boxes I declared owned by my foreign business partner. I am willing to give you 30% out of the total sum if You will be willing to assist me claim this money and invest the money as I assure you 100% risk free business transaction. I am trusting you as a God fearing person that you will not sit on my funds when it gets into your account but rather assist me in this business venture. This business demands absolute secrecy and confidentiality so all communication for now shall be through email because our lines are connected to the philippines telecommunication network services. I will furnish you with more details when I receive your positive response.


Thanks.


Mrs LUISA EJERCITO ESTRADA

- luisa estrada

Wow! I can't even get my senator to acknowledge my emails (Trent Lott and Thad Cochran, for the record) and here a senator and former first lady wants me to help her smuggle money!

The Cancer Patient

Here's the first one. A real tear jerker. Rose Culley (roseculley@virgilio.it), a cancer-stricken widow, is asking for my help in making sure her late husbands money is used for charitable works. She has no children. She writes:

MY BELOVED,

Please read this slowly and carefully, as it may be one of the most important emails you ever get.

I am Mrs Rose Culley from Greece. I was married to Late Roy Culley.The CEO Veekrol Link Nig.Ltd, a seasoned contractor in West African Region.He died on Monday, 31
July, 2000 in Paris.

We were married for eleven years without a child. After his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home.

When my late husband was alive, he deposited the sum of $4.3 Million USD in a bank in Nigeria, which is now waisting there.

My Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to cancer problem. Having known my condition I decided to donate this funds to better the lives of the less privileged. I need honest and trust worthy individual that will utilize this money in accordance with my instruction.

I want the funds to be used in funding religious organisations, orphanages and less privileged propagating the word of God.

I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are very unkind to me and I don'twant my husbands hard earned money to be misused.

I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going
to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that thelord will fight my course and I shall hold my peace.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Bank, and my Attorney in Nigeria. For legitimacy, he will also issue you a letter of authority
that will empower you as the original-beneficiary of this fund.

I want you to always pray for me, Any delay in your reply will give me room in
sourcing for another individual for this same purpose.

Thanks,
Yours sincerely,
ROSE.

Now...how could anyone not believe poor Rose Culley's story! She even quotes the Bee-Eye-Bee-Ell-Eee (that's the book for me!)for goodness sakes! She just wants someone to do God's work with her late husbands fortune!

Won't someone anyone please help her?

A Change In Direction

Well, as all good intentions go I started out this blog to add my voice to the chorus on important social and political stories. Unfortunately, I don't have the time to continually update nor do I think I have anything particularly new or interesting to say beyond linking to other blogs.

So, a change in direction.

In this space you will see updates on the plight of poor African bankers, lawyer and others who are asking for my help in liquidating the assets of Nigerian bank accounts. I mean, they just want my help. They are entrusting me to help them. The least I can do is give them a wider platform!

(I'll might still occasionally add my voice to the chorus on the original mission of this blog, but for the most part its going to be all about giving voice to need)

At least Bob Barr has some scruples

Despite being a complete and utter hypocrite (also here, which includes details of how he wanted to undermine church/state seperation) during the 1998 Impeachment proceedings against President Bill Clinton, former Georgia Republican Representative Bob Barr shows that he actually is concerned with upholding the constitution!

On Friday's edition of CNN's "The Situation Room," Barr debated Congressman Dana Rohrabacher (R-Calif.) about the New York Times expose on President Bush's executive order allowing the National Security Agency to illegally spy on US citizens. Rohrabacher, naturally, has no issue with the illegal act of domestic spying, but does takes issue with the fact that the illegal program was leaked to the press (via Atrios):

BOB BARR, CNN CONTRIBUTOR: What's wrong with it is several-fold. One, it's bad policy for our government to be spying on American citizens through the National Security Agency. Secondly, it's bad to be spying on Americans without court oversight. And thirdly, it's bad to be spying on Americans apparently in violation of federal laws against doing it without court order.

...

BARR: Well, the fact of the matter is that the Constitution is the Constitution, and I took an oath to abide by it. My good friend, my former colleague, Dana Rohrabacher, did and the president did. And I don't really care very much whether or not it can be justified based on some hypothetical. The fact of the matter is that, if you have any government official who deliberately orders that federal law be violated despite the best of motives, that certainly ought to be of concern to us.


...

ROHRABACHER: And by the way, how do we know who wasn't deterred from blowing up other targets. The fact is --

BARR: Well, gee, I guess then the president should be able to ignore whatever provision in the Constitution as long as there's something after the fact that justifies it.

BARR: Bob, during wartime, you give some powers to the presidency you wouldn't give in peace time. BARR: Do we have a declaration of war, Dana?

ROHRABACHER: You don't have to do that.

BARR: We don't? That makes it even much easier for a president.

...

BARR: Here again, this is absolutely a bizarre conversation where you have a member of Congress saying that it's okay for the president of the United States to ignore U.S. law, to ignore the Constitution, simply because we are in an undeclared war.

The fact of the matter is the law prohibits -- specifically prohibits -- what apparently was done in this case, and for a member of Congress to say, oh, that doesn't matter, I'm proud that the president violated the law is absolutely astounding, Wolf.

ROHRABACHER: Not only proud, we can be grateful to this president. You know, I'll have to tell you, if it was up to Mr. Schumer, Senator Schumer, they probably would have blown up the Brooklyn Bridge. The bottom line is this: in wartime we expect our leaders, yes, to exercise more authority.

Now, I have led the fight to making sure there were sunset provisions in the Patriot Act, for example. So after the war, we go back to recognizing the limits of government. But we want to put the full authority that we have and our technology to use immediately to try to thwart terrorists who are going to -- how about have a nuclear weapon in our cities?

BARR: And the Constitution be damned, Dana?

ROHRABACHER: Well, I'll tell you something, if a nuclear weapon goes off in Washington, DC, or New York or Los Angeles, it'll burn the Constitution as it does. So I'm very happy we have a president that's going to wiretap people's communication with people overseas to make sure that they're not plotting to blow up one of our cities.

BLITZER: We're out of time, but Bob Barr, I'll give you the last word.

BARR: Well, first of all, or last of all, this so-called plot to blow up the Brooklyn Bridge was bogus because it had to do with a group of idiots who were planning to dismantle it with blow torches.

Gotta give some kudos (begrudgingly) to Barr for at least being (somewhat) consistant.

Still, gotta love the land of wingnuttia. A sitting president issuing an executive order which allows spying on US citizens without a warrant when a warrant could be issued up to 72-hours after spying began: not a crime.

Getting laid in the White House by a former White House intern: A High Crime and Misdemeanor.

Fuckwads.

Boycott Ford Motor Company

Via John Avarosis' Americablog:

Ford Motor Company caved in to pressure this week from Mississippi-based American Family Association and pulled Land Rover and Jaguar advertisements from gay-targeted media, including The Advocate newsmagazine.

According to advocate.com:

When first contacted, Ford spokesman Moran referred Advocate.com to the AFA statement, suggesting that the company had no disagreement with Wildmon's assertions. In a second conversation he confirmed that the company would no longer advertise Jaguar and Land Rover products in the gay media, saying that the decision was strictly "business."

Don't let Ford off the hook about this "business" decision, which is anything but. Stand up and let Ford know that you will not tolerate this kind of behavior and that you will gladly take your business elsewhere.

Contact Ford Marketing and Public relations people

- Steve Lyons slyons@ford.com
- Mae Smith msmith26@ford.com
- Terri Cavanaugh tcavanaugh@ford.com

Don't be rude or vicious in your comments, just let them know your displeasure and that you will be taking your business elsewhere.

Here's the letter I wrote:

Dear Sir and Madams –

I have always respected Ford and rooted for the blue oval above any other US automaker. Sadly, your recent action in bowing to pressure from extreme right-wing religious groups and pulling your ads from gay-targeted publications has caused me to lose that respect.

According to one of your spokespeople, via The Advocate,
"Ford spokesman Moran referred Advocate.com to the AFA statement, suggesting that the company had no disagreement with [American Family Association President Donald] Wildmon's assertions."

I’m gay and I have purchasing power. I pledge now to use that purchasing power to never contribute to Ford Motor Company’s bottom-line now or in the future.

Sincerely,

WarriorGorilla
Starkville, Mississippi

Also, stay tuned to Americablog for updates this afternoon on who to contact next.

Update: Either Ford has turned off the emails or all three of these PR execs have been inundated with mail from readers of Americablog (and other blogs, who have picked up the story) because I'm getting my emails bounced. I'll update in a bit when Americablog gets more information.

Update 2:Here is the general contact page for Ford Corporate. Overload their email system

Gallery of Unfortunate Greeting Cards

This is probably my most favorite website, the Gallery of Unfortunate Greeting Cards.

The editors at Amalgamated Humor saw fit to not only feature some of the oddest greetings cards produced in the 20th century, but to - of course - tell the backstory for each one.

The Christmas card section is a good one to read this time of the year, but there are also unfortunate birthday cards, Halloween cards and St. Patrick's Day cards.



The caption for this one reads:

There's nothing that sums up Christmas quite like the eyes of an excited child... unless those eyes are strange black holes with pin-point lights shining from them and set way too far apart. If this were my daughter, I'd be asking the wife if she remembers any strange lights taking her into the sky about nine months before the little one's birth.

Movies I Hated

AmyH listed the 10 movies she absolutely hated. That got me thinking...what are some movies I hate? I posted a couple in her comments, but thought perhaps I should elaborate futher here...in my forum! "The WarriorGorilla Blog!"

[Cue People's Court Theme]

Some Movies I Hate:

"The Royal Tenenbaums" - Absolutely hated this movie. Did not understand the point, the plot or the acting. The only saving grace was the fact that my friend and I sat right underneath the projection booth (because the entire theatre was filled to capacity!), which gave it somewhat of an 8mm film quality.

"Hedwig And The Angry Inch" - Just a complete, utter, visceral dislike of this movie. I'm sorry, I cannot suspend reality for two hours and believe that no one notices when a rock band starts playing/dancing/singing in all manner of places, then leaves that place in shambles when reality returns. Sorry, not going to happen.

"The MO of MI" - Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad gay movie. So bad, I don't even know where to begin. Lets start with the stereotypes: "Sugardaddy" and "Sugarbaby." Sugardaddy is oblivious to the fact that he is supporting a sugarbaby (aren't they all? Its so very cute...in a well, disgusting, sort of way). Sugardaddy is also an embezzler (but we don't find that out until the end). Sugarbaby is your stereotypical whiney gay "raverboi" who found a free ride. Along comes "street hustler," daddy's former baby. This upsets current Baby and he turns all whiny and, well, sugarbabyish.

But, wait, there's a twist! It's a big set-up all along! Hustler and Baby are actually lovers who set out to embezzle from the embezzler! Throw in bad performance art (from the street hustler), a murder or two and you've got all the makings of...a. really. bad. gay. "suspense/thriller."

Yeah...whatever.

I may add more to this list as I think about it some more. Feel free to leave some of your most hated movies in comments.